by jim holt
Just so you know, I’m still waiting for the crop circle designers to finish what they left on my lawn.
I realize I’m just a guy who warrants nothing more than a sticky note version of the crop circles left on sprawling acres in England, but I believe I’ve already earned some respect having deciphered their wee phone message.
Translation to date: “back soon. re-grouping. trying to come up with something simpler than crop circles. something involving human breasts. this seems to attract most human attention. later.”
But, I have an urgent warning for crop circle designers when they return:
If you find yourself hovering (as you probably do) behind a car driven by a white-haired man (or gray-haired man) wearing a white cap – BEWARE. Your mission to tell us all about an unfolding era of peace and enlightenment may be delayed by centuries.
At all costs, you must get out from behind such a driver. I fear that the plight of humankind may be at risk if you – the messengers of delivery – wait for a driver wearing a white cap to get out of the way.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If said driver is seen wearing a white golf cap – please, please, please. pull over and find another route.
P.S. the breast option is very promising. crushed fields of wheat? not exactly an attention grabber. just saying.
