by jim holt
no. If you want to get to the best times in your life, it’s probably best that you take the long way around. But, relax, you’ll find the scenery is so beautiful you’ll wonder why you never went down that road before.
Here’s a test? Yes, its like a card trick. Think of the three best times of your life. OK, got it? OK, keep them to yourself, don’t tell me what they are? I bet you’re holding, in your memory, three moments that all took place outside?
I know, it’s magic.
I’ve been so blessed in my life, that i cannot pick a top three, i gotta include several for at least a TOP 10. And, in that TOP 10 best moments in my life, none of them cost me money and all of them happened outside, except a few incidents of indoors lovemaking (which, no, did not cost me any money, smartass).
And, since i know this little card trick about cherished memories, i remain suspicious of all advertising. What could they have possibly sold me to make me hold that purchase as one of the best times in my life? The sky? The sun? The lake we splashed in as kids? Falling in love? the smell of rain on grass? grabbing a snake by the tail to impress the girls only to have it bite me and indeed impress them? Picking our way through the junk yard of cars, laying for a moment, in the backseat of a 1955 Chevy, laughing, with the glass all busted? Falling in love again? Building dams with our feet against the rush of melted snow? Falling in love, again?
So, everytime i see an ad for something like toothpaste i can’t help thinking they’re trying to piggyback on that time when i fell in love. I’m supposed to infer by their claims that i would experience more of those moments if the girl i encountered had sparkling teeth or if i had sparkling teeth. no.
Or, deodorants. no. honestly? no. My most cherished moments were stews of smells and mosaics of sensations. And, none of the pixels in the picture had a pricetag.
They try to sell me on a car when all they’re selling is the scenery through which the car drives by in the commercial – a cool summer night with a full moon where a young woman wearing a dress with dalmatians on it, dances with me and then pulls her face away from my shoulder as we dance and looks me in the eye as J.J. Cale sings MAGNOLIA.
Yeah, i bought that song, for $7 on sale years later. But, i didn’t have to. I could sing that song note for note, decades later, without ever hearing it since that summer by the river. And, the $7 didn’t give the moon, the smile, the press of breast, the laugh….
Ok, i lied, i have to expand my TOP 10 to at least a TOP 20.
So, yeah, just stay on this road, and you won’t even know you’ve turned off of Wall street.
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http://www.jamesarthurholt.com http://web.mac.com/jimsgarage
